How do you say "i want a break up" without hurting that someone?
the thing is you cant and that is why i hate relationships. cuz someone is bound to get hurt.
and that is the last thing i wanna do - hurt someone. and i dont like it. i dont like it at all.
It didnt really take me much of an effort to say "i think we've had enough and i think the best solution is a break" last time. but to think of sayin it now, i am made to feel guilty.
why i dont know. hopefully, the reason is cuz i am more mature and i have more empathy. and hopefully the reason is not because i still have feelings or anythin of that sort. cuz given the person that i am, i just ...i dunno, me.
one who is commitment-phobic.
and i am ashamed to say this but i have to face the fact - one who cheats.
yeah. that's me. i always deny that very fact but now i think i am too old to run away from admitting that. Gosh i hate myself sometimes.
maybe cuz i believe i am still very young and i have that carefree lifestyle where boys come and go and i like things to be of no strings attached so that i can jump from one to another. seriously i have no idea what the hell i am thinkin but i do know that relationships are at the bottom of my agenda. sort of.
okay.
so, Just Like Heaven is a nice nice nice movie. almost cried but i told myself not too. Tears were springin to my eyes like three times. goodness.
And i think Mark Ruffalo (i think tt's the name of the lead actor) looks like Aaron but i didnt dare tell him that just now. it's just funny.
and i was feeling all off.
and the sorethroat is not helpin. suck. suck. suck.
and jimi aint helping either. i just cant stay away from that guy. there's just somethin about him that aaron doesnt have.
i shud be straightforward and i shall tell him. i know it's gonna be a blow. i've never been on the receiving end but i know it sucks to get...dump.
and there's another whole issue which i cant say.
sometimes, all i wanna do is be honest to myself. but i am friggin chicken and sometimes i just cant face the truth. i just am not brave enough. it's stupid but i feel like i am runnin away from myself.
anyways.
Domino was great. Keira Knightley rocks. Gone is her clean image. And Aizat was .... - let's use a big word - exhilarated to see so many breasts. wuhauhauuaua.
shud have seen his face when i said "Keira Knightley exposed her breasts" yesterday before buyin the tickets.
so it was all ryan + sonia + jy + aizat + me yesterday. where ryan replaced sabby for that few hours. haha.
since it has been a while since i last blogged (okayy i just used "since" twice), i shall make this entry slightly longer.
okay. i know. tt doesnt make sense.
So the dance category for the talentime is open. hooray hooray boo. it sucks.
sometimes i wish i am back in secondary school where i get the freedom of stage. where me and my four other mates graced the stage. where me and my four other mates rocked the stage. where me and my four other mates loved the stage. where me and my four other mates felt the stage. as if it was our third home. second for me, though.
snap back to reality. still, i miss those moments. miss it much. miss it too much that it brought tears to my eyes sometimes. i shall not get all too emotional.
and my bloody sorethroat. it's a sign. positive or negative i dunno.
and i know i will regret it.
but it takes two hands to clap. and i am the only one clapping. so there.
