Had a break down last night. I guess it's like one of the worst breakdown ever.
Somehow, everything came crashing down.
I dunno wad strike all the emotions to come pouring in. I really don't.
It totally suck whenever tt happens...i will find myself pulling my hair, crying incessantly and stuff and my eyes really hurt today. Not in the mood anyhow.
I suppose everyone has made a total closure on wad kinda person i am? Like, i am that cheerful, bubbly, happy-go-lucky girl who has the laughing gas in her 24/7.
Perhaps, tt's wad it looks like? (my assumption)
It's either that or nobody bothers to find out. Or perhaps they juz dunno the truth.
There's more to me. What you see is not what you get in my case. The story goes on behind closed doors.
I am a complicated person. Sometimes, I myself can't figure out who i am. I would like to be optimistic and think i am that happy person...at least, tt's how i behave when i am around people, when i am in public, when i am in school... and honestly, tt is me that u see. Juz not the complete picture.
Come to think of it, only one person knows who i really am. Even though, she doesnt know the whole truth. I have so many secrets in me, or should i say the dark side of me has many secrets. Bet everyone will be shock if they truth reveals itself.
It's so unlike me. It's the total opposite of what you see.
I find myself crying at night. Wondering...what if...
It happens rather often. Perhaps, it's due to the turmoil tt's in my mind. It's one huge turmoil that i suppose noone, and i mean noone will ever understand. So, why share what is on my mind right? it's of no use.
I don't suppose i think too much. It's juz tt i think rationally. And when i do tt, i realise one problem tumbles after another. It's like a vicious cycle and i can never find peace.
Depressed kid, maybe. Pathetic as well? Lonely, definitely.
I think i better stop before i start pulling at my hair again.
I need some time off from myself. Will figure out how to achieve tt.
I juz hope i wun do anything stupid.
I am capable of doing everything and anything.
Only I know tt.
